Self-Care
by Dr Peta Wright
Spoiler — It’s not all about baths and essential oils (although they certainly help).
I have been thinking lately about what we actually mean when we throw around the phrase ‘self-care’. It seems like the idea of it is everywhere and we know we are supposed to do it – but when just getting through the day is overwhelming sometimes - it can become another aspirational task on the to-do list surely only achieved by people like Gwyneth Paltrow who likely has an entourage of helpers to do all the boring hard things.
It’s also at the forefront of my mind because over the last month or so I have taken some time off and actually really cared for myself – probably for the first time in my life to be honest.
While at the outset, I felt guilty for taking time off work away from my patients and went in circles in my mind justifying to myself that it was ok to take time off to care for myself and to spend time with my family – it was still a massive struggle for me to get to the point that as someone in a caring profession I need to care for me first. It’s what I tell all the women who come to see me, especially the mums. Caring work is amazing and a privilege but it is also intensely giving of yourself. Some days you come home after giving away your energy all day with nothing left to give to your husband, kids, friends, let alone yourself. I’m sure this is familiar territory to anyone reading this. It’s definitely the common thread among the women I see in my practise. Their lack of self-care can contribute to many of the conditions I see women suffering with. This is why self-care is not optional if we want to feel and be our best and be of service to the people we love.
Including ourselves in that category is the place to start.
The foundation of self-care isn’t fancy or expensive. It is about getting back to the basics. Most of the things that really work are free. It just involves being conscious enough to make choices that serve our highest selves.
So what self-care practices do I recommend?
Sleep – 7-8 hours a night and making it a priority. Sleep is one of the most health giving things we can do for ourselves in our sleep deprived society, and deserves a post all to itself to tout the benefits and implications of not getting enough.
Meditation 20 minutes a day is great but starting with just 5 minutes is beneficial to connect in with yourself and activate your para-sympathetic (rest and digest) nervous system which helps to offset our constantly on sympathetic nervous system.
Eat more vegetables (focus on 7 serves a day) and drink more water – aim for 2 litres a day.
Move your body in a way that feels good for you.
Spend more time in nature.
Consider your relationship with alcohol. It is something we do to often unwind and decompress our fight or flight system. It helps in the short term to get out of our heads and make us feel more relaxed, but it is short lived relief. It interferes with sleep quality making us more tired over time, disrupts hormones and gut health and leads to more anxiety and depression over time. Cutting down or cutting alcohol out for a time can make a huge difference to how you care for yourself because you are suddenly feeling the feelings you are trying to numb or switch off and that leads to finding healthier ways to decompress. This is also a huge and important topic that I will write in more detail about soon.
None of these suggestions cost money. But they do require a commitment to love and care for yourself. When you are feeling replenished than you can look outward and make a difference in the lives of the people around you. That is why we need to start getting serious about self care. It’s really just personal responsibility.
I was lucky enough to recently spend a few weeks at the beach with the people I love most in the world with only waves and sand, national park and a tiny general store to keep me company and no one to impress or dress up for. It was bliss. I spent two weeks in a bikini with sea water in my hair and no make-up, swam with my kids, walked in the bush, meditated every day, did yoga with my beautiful step-daughter and danced on the beach at dusk. I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol (going on a few months now) and have never felt more alive or more me. The things that really matter were front and centre and all the other stuff melted away.
We all need an escape hatch like this from time to time. More importantly we need the courage to make embodying our full selves and being a human being rather than a human doing, a priority and goal in our day to day lives. We are not how much we can jam pack into a day and our worth isn’t what we have achieved. Self-care is the personal responsibility we have to be ourselves and to shine so that others can shine too. We can’t do that if we are tired, cranky and sick. Self-care is the simple things.
